I'm too old for this

Friday 6/19/2015

Today we had lesson planning in the morning and teaching in the afternoon. We went to the Russian Market to purchase some school supplies for our lesson then sat down at a coffee shop to plan. On Fridays fifth graders and sixth graders compete in soccer. We taught one hour only and then the boys went to play. We were left with the girls and thought at first we were going to teach them a lesson, but no. During this time we were supposed to play games. We played hangman and searched for words on the board. It started storming and the wind and rain came into the classroom. The storm stopped just in time for us to go out to watch the girls soccer match. They weren't very good, and our sixth graders lost the game. But it looked like they were having fun. We talked to their teacher Sreymom a bit and found out she was twenty five. She too looks young for her age.

On the way home we had two strange experiences. First we were stopped at a corner in traffic. We saw a pan that held the heads of dogs cooking. You could easily make out their jaw line and their teeth looked even whiter next to their charred cheeks.

Second, our driver stopped at a shop on the side of the road, he told us to wait one minute. I guess he saw a pair of shoes he liked, because he took off his shoes and tried on a pair of black rubber ones. I don't know if the price was wrong or if they didn't fit, but he got back in and we were on our way again. Can you imagine if a taxi driver stopped to go shopping? Things are definitely slower paced and not quite on a schedule here. 

After dinner we got in a hired van to take us to Kampot for the weekend. Since we had to leave after work we were going to be home too late to take the last bus there. It worked out to be the same price since there were nine of us. The ride was about three hours. We couldn't see much of what we passed along the way because it was already dark. When we arrived at the Mad Monkey around nine we were tired but ready to check it out. This hostel is obviously geared to young party travelers. I couldn't help but think, I'm too old for this! They showed us to our shared bunk space. There where things on one of the beds to which we were supposed to be assigned. I was honestly relieved when they moved two of the three of us to a private room. We went down to the bar where I got hit on by a young British guy before returning to the comfort of my group. At least he didn't think I looked too old to be here. 

$3 tuk-tuk ride each way split

$3 pair of scissors and two notebooks

$1.25 two packs of construction paper

$2.50 mixed juice

$1.25 cookies

$10 $90 van ride split nine ways

$5 night at the Mad Monkey 

$3 cubre libre 

Today's Total: $29.00

School is not a Prison

Thursday Afternoon 6/18/2015

We met a few friends to go tour S21 in the afternoon. S21 is a school that was taken over by the Khmer Rouge and turned into a prison where Cambodians were tortured and killed. We paid a three dollar entrance fee and hired an English speaking guide to take us around. S21 was different than the Killing Fields. The Khmer Rouge were extremely organized in thier operation of S21. They took pictures of every soldier and prisoner that was there during the four years of its operation. Walking through the hall filled with these pictures I connected with so many faces. I thought about my students in the U.S. who sometimes joke about the restrictive rules, calling school a prision. Here I was in a school that perhaps even some of the young people in these pictures had attended to get an education. For some it was the fact that they were educated that brought them back here under much different circumstances. Even when seeing the pictures of the soldiers, I felt for them. They were just young boys. All dressed in black with matching black caps, they could easily be the boys I teach back home. What made these boys different was their lack of education. They were easily manipulated by Pol Pot, having been promised a more equal society. Most came from poor farming backgrounds. I am not making excuses for their decisions or behavior. There is no excuse for what happened at that prison, I am just saying that when you are poor and desperate and someone offers you something that looks like a solution it is easy to say yes. Seeing the faces of the young soldiers I felt sorry for them but at the same time angry at their actions.

Despicable, perhaps unforgivable things happened there. 

In the first few rooms there were metal bed frames with shackles attached. On the wall they displayed pictures of dead bodies found shackled to the beds. These pictures were taken by the Vietnamese soldiers that liberated the prision. The bodies were beaten (some barely recognizable as being human faces) and killed or left to die. I had to try hard to keep from getting sick from the combination of these graphic images and the heat. 

We moved on to see the cells. The first grouping of cells was made sloppily from brick and concrete. It was not the work of a skilled laborer. The cells were smaller than a twin sized bed. Each cell would house one or two pensioners. The other rooms filled with cells that were still standing were made from wood. Many of the cells still had empty old ammunition boxes in them that had been used as toilets. You have to remember that the prisoners kept here had committed no crime. The Khmer Ruge imprissioned the educated. They tortured them with beatings and by hanging them from rope and dipping their heads in excrement until they confessed to made up crimes. 

Our guide was fifteen and living in Phnom Penh when the Khmer Rouge evacuated the city. During our time with him, he talked calmly about what his people did to one another during that time. Using the terms "my people" and "my country" frequently, he helped me feel his connection to this time and place. He was obviously saddened talking about what happened here. He serves as not only a guide but also a curator of the museum. My assumption is that this is a calling for him and that he longs for people to be informed about what happened here so something like this will not happen again.

The last few rooms talked about the trials of Khmer Rouge soldiers. It was difficult for me to understand why some Khmer Rouge soldiers are just now being prosecuted and why some will never face prosecution. There was an exhibit by a photographer who attempted to find some of the young soldiers who worked at the S21 prision. He interviewed and photographed the few he found. Many of them did not feel guilty for their actions. They claimed they were doing what was necessary for their survival. I don't feel I can make a judgement on everything that happened during that time. I wasn't there and can not understand the compexities of what was happening. I am an educated woman from a fairly well off family, I doubt I would have survived the genocide had I been a Cambodian living during the Khmer Rouge. I do, however, judge the lack of guilt associated with their crimes. How can you kill, torture or rape someone and not feel guilty? I've never had to use my survival instincts, in fact I'm not sure I have them. I think my sympathy and love for the human race is much stronger than my drive to survive, but it's easy to think that when I haven't faced such trials. This afternoon was difficult. Perhaps more difficult for me than the killing fields because I could connect with the thousands of photographs of the victims here. 

If you ever visit Cambodia, I encourage you to visit both the killing fields and S21.  It is important to understand Cambodia's recent past to have a greater understanding of why they are where they are today. If you have the option to choose, I would go to S21 first. I also encourage you to hire a guide.

$3 S21 entrance fee

$2 $10 tip for guide/5

$1 candy bar at the market
Afternoon Total: $6.00

Happy Birthday!-morning errands

Thursday Morning 6/18/2015

Happy Birthday To the King's mother!

School was closed today due to the national holiday celebrating the King's mother's birthday (say that three times fast, what a mouthful). We ate breakfast at the star house then spent the morning running errands at the central market. The central market is bigger and more organized than the Russian market near our volunteer house. It is a large yellow building that juts out like a spider with halls going out in different directions from a central dome. In the domed area there were jewelry counters selling a wide variety of sparkling colored stones. Apparently, you can buy stones relatively cheep here if you know what you are looking for. If you don't know stones well though you are likely to come home with fakes. We walked the halls not looking for anything inparticular. There were women busy on sewing machines, intricate paintings of local attractions and lots of vendors selling tshirts for tourists. I bought a pair of cotton pajama style pants. Next to the central market is the large air mall where we had lunch on Tuesday where I picked up an SD card.

We came back to our side of town via tuk-tuk. The drivers outside the mall must be used to tourists because they originally quoted us twice the price to get home as we had paid to get there. We negotiated back down to $3. I want to pay the people here a fair wage but at the same time I don't want to be taken advantage of because of the color of my skin. At orientation we had learned that a tuk-tuk in the area should cost no more than $5, and that was to the area that was furthest away. 

We stopped at the Russian market on the way back home. While I am here I am hoping to get some clothes made. We found the stalls that were stuffed full of fabrics and I purchased a few different fabric options. They indicated I could get the clothing made only a few blocks down. While walking through the market I realized that they meant a few stalls down because once again their were women working on sewing machines. I didn't have my pictures with me of the clothes I wanted made so I put off that errand and we made our way home for lunch.

$3 tuk-tuk to the central market

$70 32gb wifi SD card

$6 Asian style cotton pant

$3 tuk-tuk ride back

$5 t shirt

$9 $3/ yard for three yards of cotton

$12 $4/ yard for three yards of nice fabric
Morning Total: $108

Hello Teacher

Wednesday 6/17/2015

First day at PIO

Today was our first day visiting the school where we will be working for the next few weeks. VAC arranged a tuk-tuk ride for us accross town to People Improvement Organization. PIO was founded in 2002 by Phymean Noun. Noun built the school at the city dump site. Her hope was to convince families living at the site to send their children to school instead of having them work sorting through the trash at the dump. The school now has three locations around Phnom Penh. Although the dump next to the first school (where we will be working) closed in 2007, the area is still one of the poorest in the city. 

(View from the classroom. The building with the red roof and green walls is where the students have computer and seeing classes)

We arrived at PIO school around nine fifteen. John, a man from New Zeland, greeted us at the door. It turns out John came here to volunteer just over three years ago and decided to stay on. He mostly works with the volunteers who come to the school. John gave us a tour of the school campus, although I hesitate to call it a campus because it is so different than what a westerner pictures hearing that word. There was a school building, a small patch of land covered with sand on which to play, and a shelter building for students to sleep in when they have no home to return to. Students who live in the shelter are often victims of poor circumstance, perhaps their parents divorced and remarried and the step parent did not want to raise the child, maybe they have no parents, maybe they don't know where their parents may be.  Despite their circumstances the children were full of energy and joy. Almost every student greeted us with "hello teacher!" and either a wave or a high five. We stopped in the kindergarten class where the other two volunteers that we were touring with would be working. There were one hundred tiny kindergarteners on break running frantically around in circles, locking each other in cabinets and kicking and punching one another. When we arrived much of their attention was drawn to us. We got hugs and high fives. We had requests to pick them up. Many students asked in perfect English, "what is your name?" At the end of the tour John gave us very brief instructions on how to structure a lesson plan. He walked away at one point without telling us where he was going or what would happen next. We sat on tiny wooden stools in the entryway not knowing what we were supposed to be doing for hours. Eventually we surmised that this was the lunch break. Although the star house had packed us a lunch, we were hesitant to eat it since it had been sitting in the heat all morning. We came to the conclusion that perhaps the rice was the safest and forewent the meat and vegetable dish. 

English class began at one o'clock.  Today we were just observing to learn about their teaching methods and figure out how much English they already knew. We were told we would be teaching sixth grade grammar. I made my way toward the back of the class and tried to shove all five feet and nine inches of me into a bench behind a small desk.  The students could tell I was uncomfortable. The smallest boy in the class, Nob, moved his bench out to make room for me. Nob's English was very good. I sat looking on with him for the entire class, asking him questions when I didn't understand what was going on. He was adorable and fairly diligent in his work. At the end of our time together, I asked Nob how old he was. When he said thirteen I just about fell off the bench. He was so small. The entire time I thought he must be nine or ten. We later found out that although we are teaching sixth grade, our class ranged in age from thirteen to fifteen. Apparently, since these students come from poor backgrounds they are older than the average Cambodian sixth grader. 

I was excited to get to work, but even having observed the class it was difficult to figure out their level of English skills. They were working on the difference between will and going to (a fairly advanced subject for which I even had to look a few things up to make sure I understood the difference) but seemed to have trouble with comprehension in conversation. We were told we were to teach unit 8 and were given a very basic book that the students were not using in the classroom. Lesson planning was going to be difficult, but I was excited to get started. 

$0.50 large water at PIO

$.75 tuk-tuk home $3/4 people 

$3 ice cream and a coconut Danish at the blue pumpkin (highly recommend!)
Today's Total: $4.25

Happy Blessings

Orientation Day 2

Tuesday 6/16/2015

Today we took a tour around the city. We met Sreng on the first floor of the guest house. He had a fifteen passenger air conditioned van waiting for us.

Our first stop was Olympic Stadium. Despite its name the stadium has never hosted the Olympics. It is the home to the Cambodian national soccer team. They have a game tonight against Afghanistan. Our guide was worried that the attendance would suffer because the price tag jumped from a dollar 25 to 2 dollars for this game. The people are concerned about the money as much as the principle against such a large price jump. Surprisingly the stadium was open to the public we just walked right in. There were people preparing the place for tonight's game by making food and setting up tents. The stadium also included two Olympic size swimming pools. Even though our day was just beginning I was already tempted to jump in. I'm not sure I will ever get used to this heat.

We drove in a roundabout around what phenom we were told there are ashes of cremated people in the domes. Then we stopped at The Pagoda. The wat looked similar to the ones we had visited in Bangkok. But when we entered it was empty of people except for one monk who sat reading in a chair against the wall. There were large soft oriental style rugs lining the floor. There was of course a shrine to Buddha at the front. But I was surprised to see bright seventies style decorative lighting (like Christmas lights) adorning the head of one of the statues.

We were told by Sreng that we had the opportunity to be blessed by the monk if we wished. Jen, Sara and I were the only ones interested, so we knelt down in a prayerful pose as instructed. The monk sat in front of us and began chanting. He sprinkled us with water. When he was finished he took three bright red colored bracelets and dunked them in the water in front of him. Then he brought us up one by one and tied the bracelets to our left wrist. (I made the mistake of presenting my right wrist since I had a watch on my left, but was told that the right wrist is for males). This was so different than the Catholic blessing that I am used to. The monk spent a lot of time in prayer over us. I had no idea what he was saying but was later told that the bracelet was a blessing of happiness. What a beautiful experience that I wasn't expecting. Afterward we were lead into another building that contained a very small (alter) where we made a wish by placing a sick of incense in a bowl of sand. I found myself seriously wishing for a happy marriage and a child. Not that my marriage isn't happy now, I have just seen so many end in sadness and divorce. A happy blessing was perhaps just what I had needed.

          

The next two stops were not as meaningful or interesting to me. We drove across a bridge to  Diamond Island which was almost deserted during the day but apparently has an event center that is a popular spot for wealthy families to host events. It is one of the only event centers in the area that has a large car park to cater to rich vehicle owning guests. Then we went to the very small Kite museum. Kite making and flying is a traditional Cambodian practice, although it is more rare now. The kites often included a bamboo rod that would create a whistling sound when flown that could be heard throughout the village.

We stopped for an hour at the central market for lunch and shopping, although we only had time for lunch. The restaurant was a sort of fast food Korean bbq joint. I had a bbq chicken leg with fries and a peach soda for $6. We were obviously at a place that catered to westerners because this was co loser to western process. Our food took a long time so we didn't get a chance to explore the market. After waiting for everyone to gather we got back in the van and made our way to Liquid Bar. There we sat and had a refreshing Ankgor Beer. Sreng ordered a plate of fried tarantulas and beetles and invited everyone to try. After the ants and frog last night I wasn't up to it. Jen, Rannva and Natalie all gave the tarantula a try. No one was brave enough to try the large beetle. I was told the tarantula had a bad texture, I'm not sure if I will regret not trying a tarantula, but I most certainly wasn't up to it today. 

$6.50 lunch of grilled bow chicken with fries and a peach soda

$0.25 water

$1.50 one Ankor beer

$2.90 shampoo

$1.90 large lychee juice

$4 mojito

$3 audio guide at the killing fields

$3 $6 air conditioning spilt
Today's Total: $23.05

A New Day, A Fresh Perspective

Orientation Day One

Monday 6/15/15

What a difference a day makes! After sleep and a nice cold morning shower, I felt refreshed and ready to learn more about the city. Even though I only slept four hours in a hot room, it really did turn my attitude around. Today we began orientation. There I learned that UBELONG is one of approximately fifty overseas organizations that partner with the local group "Volunteer Action of Cambodia." All of our training and communication from here out will be with VAC. Before lunch we covered transportation, the history of Cambodia, Cambodian politics today and the VAC's mission. I knew about much of the history of Cambodia from my preparation for this trip. However, it was more interesting to hear the history told directly by a confident, obviously educated Cambodian. I did learn more about the most practiced religion here, Buddhism. I read Siddhartha when I was in college, but I remember very little about the book. Buddhists here believe in karma. Life is cyclical and if you do good in the world good will come back to you and if you do bad, bad. I was aware that they believe in reincarnation. What I didn't realize is as Buddhists they still believe in heaven and hell. Instead of going there forever as most Christians believe, Buddhists believe that heaven or hell are rewards or punishments that may last for one year or for many. The ultimate reward for good karma is nirvana which is from my understanding an ultimate state of peace. Nirvana, once reached, is everlasting. I had a hard time reconciling what I learned about the faith with the corrupt Cambodian government. Over ninty percent of Cambodian people are Buddhist. If you are truly Buddhist and believe in karma both good and bad how can you behave so poorly toward fellow humans? Cambodia's government is ranked as one of the top corrupt governments in the world. Bribes are often accepted by government officials. If you are accused of doing something you are most often considered guilty. Land grabbing is common and accepted practice. If you speak out against these injustices you face the probability of being arrested. Corruption is not the only problem current Cambodia faces. Although prostitution is illegal in Cambodia it is a common practice. Nineteen percent of Cambodians live under the poverty line. Drug abuse is common amongst teens. I can not imagine living in a place where if I spoke out against something that was so obviously wrong I could be punished, but this is the life of many Cambodians. Given Cambodia's sordid past, I still have a great appreciation for how far they have come while accepting there is a lot more work to be done. 

After lunch we went over cultural dos and don'ts and attempted to learn the Khmer language.

Take aways 

Don't - shake hands when meeting, touch people on the head or shoulder, touch a monk if you are female

Do- bow head when passing old people,  hand over and receive items using two hands, finish everything on your plate, shower at least twice per day (I was very worried this would be on the don't list thinking water would be expensive)

Afterwards Sreng, one of the program coordinators, gave us a list of what Cambodian people think of westerners: they smoke, show affection in public, have tattoos and piercings and women drink with men. All of us laughed, as my new Italian friend Sara could be the poster child for the perception Cambodians have of westerners!

We had a long break between our lessons and dinner. During which we took the time to take our laundry to be washed. I have one clean outfit to wear tomorrow. Perhaps I didn't pack enough, I never get sweaty back home but here I am swimming in sweat by mid morning. We stopped on the way home for smoothies and fresh juice. I had a delicious watermelon juice for only $1.50.

In the evening, the fourteen volunteers and Sreng went out for a traditional Cambodian dinner. The food continued to come in large family sized portions plate by plate as we laughed, drank and talked about the cultures of our own home countries. In traditional Cambodian families, you do not talk during meals. However, according to Sreng, what we were doing was typical for young Cambodians (apart from the women drinking with men). There were so many new dishes to try. Two beef dishes, two vegetable dishes, one dish with vegetables and noodles, fish amok (tasted like a weak soup version of a coconut curry), fried whole frogs that were two to three inches long, ants, and something I would describe as corn squares. Most of the food was very good. The frog was difficult to eat because you could so clearly identify it. The ants had a nice flavor from the marinade, but the texture was difficult to get over. I don't think I'll be eating either of those dishes again while I'm here. We enjoyed our time together as we were serenaded by Cambodian karaoke. The meal was covered by VAC through our volunteer fee, but came to only $75.

At the end of the day I was tired but happy. Happy to be here meeting new people and learning about many different cultures. I not only am up for this, I am excited to be here. 

$1.50 watermelon juice
Today's Total:$1.50

Phnom Penh- Expectation is Rarely Reality

Sunday Afternoon 6/14/2915

My introduction to Phnom Penh was a very bumpy, thirty minute tuk-tuk ride to my volunteer house. Our driver spoke little English, but greeted us with a UBELONG sign at the arrivals exit. We waited with him for twenty minutes for the three other volunteers we would presumably be traveling with. As soon as everyone was present and accounted for they split us. Jen and I went with one man to a tuk-tuk while the other three volunteers went in a taxi. Our driver walked us to the side of a street that was as wide as a four lane highway. Although, the traffic along it did not stick to a traditional lane pattern. Traffic was heavy with motorbikes, beat up work trucks and new and shiny SUVs. Our driver told us to wait as he bravely walked across the road to our waiting ride. I assumed he would drive onto the street, travel down a while and then make a u turn to come back and get us. But no! He courageously drove our ride accross all of that speedy chaos. As we drove, the road got smaller and deteriorated into a muddy mess of pot holes. Then as we approached the center of town it turned back into solid pavement. On our bumpy and chaotic ride I saw; at least four men openly urinating on on the side of the road, a naked baby on a heap of recyclables, beer girls with pale made up faces waiting on large pleather looking couches outside bars, food stalls, two men on separate occasions balancing ladders on the back of bikes, a small open market with a women selling freshly cut flowers, a family of four balancing on a tiny bike, rows of shops selling everything from tile to handbags and much more. I was already exhausted from my four hours of sleep and our morning at the market, so after that stimulating ride I was overwhelmed with emotion. Was I really up for this challenge? The obvious answer was that I had to be.

We checked in at the front and were pointed toward our room. It was small but clean and organized. There were four of everything, bed, shelf, lockable bedside table with a drawer and cabinet. The bathroom was tiny and the shower, toilet and sink shared the small space openly. With all of the feelings and reactions I was having, I wasn't really ready to smile and introduce myself to people. I needed to decompress a bit, but more importantly I needed to eat. 

We went down for dinner which was buffet style with a large table for all the volunteers to eat together. There were so many people sitting and chatting there already. I mostly sat and ate quietly listening to everyone's experiences so far. Many people were like us in that they had just arrived this weekend and hadn't gotten to work yet. I was too overstimulated, hungry and tired to join their polite conversation. When Jen asked if I was ok I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I didn't want to be the girl who cried at dinner on the first night, I want to be strong. I struggled to hold back my tears, but succeeded. This was all going to be more difficult than I had imagined. 

Pictured: my area of the room

our bathroom

Afternoon Total: $0